for me, for 2011.

awhile ago, i picked up a book, planning to get inspiration from it. Going through the first few pages, decided to pick up macbook to write something. Something that I've been thinking about for the past many many many nights and days and the brand new start of 2011 is a good reason to talk about it.

Now, new year, new plans and new resolution. Awhile back, June emailed the cell and reminded us that we all should work on less resolution and more revelation.

It's true.

Resolution is for everyday. Plan to complain less, plan to achieve certificate, plan to take lesson, plan to procrastinate less, plan to learn new skill, blah blah blah... I remembered there was one year, I had 10 or more resolutions and I hardly achieve 50% of it. However, as I go through the ticked boxes at the end of the year, however little I have achieved, I would give myself a pat on the back and start the new year afresh.

There are many regrets; wrong decision, wrong relationship, wrong approach, wrong everything. I often ask myself if I would have done different if the time is turned back - answer is absolutely no.

The only regret I had right now above all mentioned will be having to treat myself a weeny bit more respect and love.

2010 is a year we managed to survive after the 2009 crisis as a company. In 2009, we cracked our brain, work our arse and exhaust all resources to make the mothership alive. We cut pay, freeze incentive and freeze leave. There was no carrot but we all had the same mind to make money. Come 2010, we are enjoying the fruits and bond of our labors. However, there were one too many nights that I couldn't fall asleep. I began to have nights sitting outside the couch thinking about the challenge i had at work; the challenge of the job it brought, the difficulties of each cases... there were many lonely times like this that even Eric started to worry.

I spent 70% of my life for work, making this career work. Honestly, I don't think I have made a name or established huge achievements... so, about this, I am somewhat, 'tired'.

This year is a year of many happenings. I picked up ballet, (finally after putting it down for resolution in 2008 and 2009) I got engaged, I knew new friends and also travelled more places. I also had disappointment, arguement, crying, hurtful remark and all other that really make this year a really eventful year. I guess, the theory, what don't break you makes you stronger is always true.

2011 arrived with a huge countdown party at Isaac's. Ironically, it also has quietly slipped into the nightfall and act as if nothing had happened the very next morning. It came naturally, expectedly, destined and of cos, no forgetting creating the hoohaa for all iPhone user whose alarm clock went on holiday for 3 days.

Revelation comes with relationship with God and only He can reveal what is intented and destined. I have not forgotten God and maybe in many ways I have not been a true committed christian as well. for that, I have got to ask for forgiveness... There are many nights i drew close to God for His direction, His solution and His comfort. The nights many not seen...

I want to draw closer to God not only because it's 2011. Because I need Him in many ways. I need Him in my career, in my marriage, in my dance, in my passion and in my relationship with people.

Happiness and being whole is important for me now. Eric's mom once said this very wise statement: 'if at situation where you have to make decision that is important to us, we must always put our family or us as priority'. Honestly, I feel extremely happy to make someone happy but making sacrifice is not all the time good.

I want to learn from God how to love and love in an unconditional manner...

Good night and I hope everyone will really have another wonderful year ahead.